THE INTERNET IS SCARY

I said that Local58 set a gold standard for analog horror, and I stand by that. Often when a work has a lot of imitators, the original will end up feeling tired by association. Such is not the case for Local58. Each episode still delivers a unique flavor of dread that few other series have been able to measure up to. I don't know if that says more about the lasting quality of Local58, the lower effort of derivatives, or both.

If you're a fan of analog horror (or web horror in general), and you still somehow haven't watched Local58, I strongly urge you to do so. The only negative thing I can say about it is that there are too few episodes.

I'll admit I'm a relative newcomer to Minecraft, having started just before the Caves & Cliffs update came out. I guess I thought myself too cool to play it back in the day. (I was a teenager, what can ya do?) Despite this, I have a vague knowledge of old-school Minecraft creepypasta: Herobrine, that "wake up" thing, etc. And HOO BOY does The Last Beta Player hit me right in that knowledge.

What particularly strikes me about this piece is how many of the details emphasize the utter loneliness of this beta world-- and the flesh-and-blood person playing it. The thick fog that can't be adjusted, the lack of helpful comments on the main character's Reddit posts, the shut blinds visible behind the player as daylight fades into darkness. It's all the more stomach-dropping when that loneliness is shattered, giving us the question: Is it worse if this guy really is the last beta player... or if he isn't?

Like I said, this plays on a fear from years past, when kids of my generation would scare each other by convincing ourselves that our favorite games had sinister underbellies. Those stories may have been juvenile, but on sleepless isolated nights, they can still come back to haunt us. Who says Herobrine can't still be scary?

Ah, nostalgia. I remember the memes, the anime gijinkas, the weird fandom that popped up around this series back in the day. If you're my age, you might remember it too. The fourth installment (the best one, imo) came out in my sophomore year of high school. I'll never forget watching it with a gaggle of other kids and yelling "JESUS ON A STICK" at the ending.

Despite the lenses of nostalgia and cringe, the original Don't Hug Me I'm Scared series still holds up incredibly well. Its thesis, that what we show to our children is in itself a form of propaganda, continues to ring true, and will likely stay true as long as "media for small children" is considered a separate category. Think Transformers. Think Elsagate. Think Paw Patrol.

I said I'd talk about games here eventually, and... well, here we are.

When people talk about classic Flash games, I find they're usually thinking of Happy Wheels or one of those games where you can beat up stick figures. You know what I mean if you're my age; the stuff you'd goof around with in the computer lab when the teacher wasn't looking. As fun as those are, my all-time favorite thing from that era is the Deep Sleep series by Scriptwelder. I mentioned it elsewhere on my site, but I have to gush about it more. Bear with me.

Many works of horror fiction play with dream logic, but nothing captures it quite like these games. The way images and locations both recur and change, the balance of familiarity and dread (liminal spaces, anyone?), the sound design... ugh, I could go on for hours. I still think about that one lobby room, and the strange feeling it gives me like I myself have seen it in my dreams. There's also much to be said about the effectiveness of the visuals, despite the highly pixelated look. I don't think I've seen visual snow depicted in any other media.

There are many, many, many reasons to download the Flashpoint archival project if you haven't already. Consider this yet another one.

I want to talk about this project at least a little, but I'm not sure what to say that hasn't already been said. Aside from showcasing some absolutely stunning technical skill in crafting convincing posters, brochures, and other promotional material, the worldbuilding here is airtight and the themes are potent. People haven't been talking about this project as much lately, but I remember. I remember.

If for some reason you're reading this without being familiar with Mystery Flesh Pit already, I have a link to it on my "Other Links" page. I recommend starting with the first post.

Also known as AI Builds. This series started off as a Petscop clone (the narration even starts off with the same "this is just to prove to you" phrase), but quickly became something entirely different. Here, the storytelling is much more grounded and less surreal than its inspiration, and it explores a different framing: our main character is building a game rather than playing one. Make no mistake, though, it also makes good use of some very impactful symbolism and heady dreamlike sequences.

By far the best part of this series is the performance that Nicholas gives. What can I say? I'm a sucker for good acting. I'd even say that it outclasses Petscop itself in some aspects-- though make no mistake, I love Petscop.

A couple years ago, I was spending my October nights catching up on classic horror movies. A friend of mine & I were discussing what I should watch next, and we landed on the Blair Witch Project. She said that while Blair Witch innovated the found footage genre, it was Marble Hornets that truly perfected it. She was, as it turns out, not exaggerating in the least.

Acting tends to make or break projects like these, and Marble Hornets absolutely delivers. Every performance in this feels almost disturbingly real, especially that one monologue from Tim. You know the one.

I honestly don't have much else to say about Marble Hornets, except that you should go watch it if you haven't already. Go. Right now.

The analog horror boom of the past few years, triggered by the fanmade FNAF VHS series and Local58, has given us a wide variety of webseries. Some are quite bad, some are fairly middling, but only a few rise to the gold standard that Local58 set. Gemini Home Entertainment is one of them.

I'd say the main flaw of analog horror duds is that they're often made by people who don't really understand how analog works. Such is not the case for this series. Every in-universe tape it presents looks, feels, and sounds like something you could find at the bottom of a bargain bin. For me, it evokes highly specific sensory memories of watching crappy educational VHS tapes in elementary school. This makes the scares all the more effective.

While the formula of this series' installments tends to get repetitive, the worldbuilding kept me hooked the whole time, enough to rewatch it over & over again. Like I've said elsewhere on this site: if you only watch one analog horror series, make it this one.